Recommended Professional: Joan Childs
It is palpable that for many, especially among women, the idea that having the approval of a loved-one through learning to care is the best way to be loved back. Of course, there is nothing harmful with being caring and thoughtful towards somebody especially if the person you care about the most is your spouse. Yet someone who does not care about her own desires and needs in order to just satisfy her partner is no longer a caring lover but a codependent one.
Usually seen in relationships involving alcoholic and abusive husbands, codependency happens when the codependent lover takes good care of her significant half because she believes that it is the right thing to do. Studies show that this attitude of codependent people can be rooted to the way they were raised by their parents and the belief their loved-ones accidentally or intentionally imbued in their minds – that others’ needs are more significant than theirs.
Unfortunately, getting married and eventually living with an alcoholic and abusive man causes a codependent woman’s self-belittling attitude to worsen.
In order to determine the best strides to overcome codependency, one should know first the symptoms a codependent person exhibits. And they are as follows:
• Too much and unnecessary concern for other individuals’ thoughts, conduct, emotion, choices, and worst – fate
• Anxiety and guilt over his or her lover’s problems
• Feeling of safety when he or she give something to others while
• Feeling of danger when it is the other way around
• Urge to please others at the expense of his own yearnings
• Boredom and feeling of worthlessness in the absence of an individual to help or an issue to resolve.